Robbed by Flesh

However, even after paying the ransom, her abductors didn’t keep their part of the bargain. That was until today in the morning when she came with tears in her eyes and confessed.

“It was Rob,” she cried. “My boyfriend. We cooked everything up. Dad, I’m so sorry I stole from you.” Like she was contrite.

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TODAY’S YOUTH—OUR BELOVED SONS AND daughters—are worthless, good-for-nothing schmucks.

My beautiful wife, Lizzie, died seven years ago. The grief almost killed me, but I have at last accepted. Her only legacy to me is her undying love and the most precious gift on earth—our daughter, Joan. I treasure her so much, and I would do anything for her. Well, that’s what I have done. She has everything in this whole wide, wild world.

Nonetheless, Jo is just like any other delinquent. Even after giving her the best education, and the most luxurious life, making her an epitome of envy by her peers, all she could do was rob me. I wish I could understand, but how could she?

When she was kidnapped three weeks ago, and her abductors demanded 10 million shillings’ ransom, I did not hesitate. I could even give the whole world to secure her release.

However, even after paying the ransom, her abductors didn’t keep their part of the bargain. That was until today in the morning when she came with tears in her eyes and confessed.

“It was Rob,” she cried. “My boyfriend. We cooked everything up. Dad, I’m so sorry I stole from you.” Like she was contrite.

How could she? She’s the sole beneficiary of all my wealth.

I’m still wondering—why the hell did she come back?

Photo by Clarke Sanders on Unsplash

Blessed Virgin Merry

I was beatified the same day Sister Irene ‘Nyaatha’ Stefani became ‘Blessed’. While Blessed Irene Stefani began her journey to sainthood, I began mine to slut-hood. The only thing I share with Blessed Irene Stefani is Roman Catholicism and seven-frilled habits.

Visitors of Warmth

This night, Pope John XII the Young shagged me rhythmically as if having sex with an African was a mystical ecstasy. When he looked into my eyes, I wondered what it really felt to listen to people’s sins, and no one listened to yours. When he emptied his holy seed in me, he rolled onto his side panting. I almost called his personal doctor, afraid his heart was attacking him.

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