Of Truths and Secrets

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I needed a shot of vodka, straight not shaken, James Bond style. If I didn’t get it in the next three minutes or so, I’d be teetotal for the rest of my life.


Talk of family secrets, and the truth, crawling out of the woodwork at the worst of times.

My mother had just told me the truth, and the most guarded secret, about my father.

What kind of a parent does that to their children? I was not only on overdrive but was also going bonkers.

I had always berated God for plonking me in the middle of humanity as the only child, no brother or sister to boss around.

The truth – and the secret – was that I was a staid erratum and product of paedophilia extended beyond consanguinity bounds over a protracted period of time.

No wonder mom hated me so much – I was the living nightmare that was her childhood.

Grandpa’s dad and mom’s my sister.

Secret’s out – mom gave birth to her brother.

The 73rd Virgin

The media call me a jihad bride, ever since I joined ISIS. Well, I am a jihad houri, whore!? Whenever the brave mujahedeen go out to massacre kafirs, they come back to our haven and find me waiting for them. In this life, I don’t get tired of being screwed by the terrorists because most of them have erectile dysfunction, most of them ejaculate on my thighs even before they can feel the puckering of my yoni.

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