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Gospels of Damnation – Vincent de Paul

Gospels of Damnation

“TVs today are over-pumped with concoctions of estrogen and testosterone, too much sex being advocated for by Safe Sex and Contraceptives Campaigns. There are too many adverts for hedonism, crime, violence, perversion, injustice, and vengeance.

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“WHAT’S WRONG WITH THE WORLD today?” Pastor Winfred asked her congregation. “How do you expect our children to be morally upright when what we do is preach the gospels of damnation to them?” Her voice rose above the din of everything else, amplified a thousand times by the loudspeakers piercing the streets from Central Park.

“TVs today are over-pumped with concoctions of estrogen and testosterone, too much sex being advocated for by Safe Sex and Contraceptives Campaigns. There are too many adverts for hedonism, crime, violence, perversion, injustice, and vengeance.

“Gone are the sermons of abstinence, respect for human dignity and life, parental guidance and G-Rating what’s broadcasted on TV. Communication has been confined to gadgets of vanity and profanity, parenting left to Mr & Mrs Google and a young unmarried couple you call Facebook and Twitter in search of money that’s never enough. Not to mention that the Bible, the Qur’an, and other religious texts are now an application on your iPhones and BlackBerries.

“When I look at humanity today, I feel sorry for being alive. We live the gospels of damnation to the dire neglect of the true gospels of salvation.” Pastor Winfred scanned the masses before continuing.

All was silent; you could have thought Central Park was a morgue.

The 73rd Virgin

The media call me a jihad bride, ever since I joined ISIS. Well, I am a jihad houri, whore!? Whenever the brave mujahedeen go out to massacre kafirs, they come back to our haven and find me waiting for them. In this life, I don’t get tired of being screwed by the terrorists because most of them have erectile dysfunction, most of them ejaculate on my thighs even before they can feel the puckering of my yoni.

Ransom

WHEN I KIDNAPPED MYSELF, AND send a ransom demand to my scumbag father, I did not expect he’d pay. But guess he did! I am now happy in my new

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